First of all: people to sink into the chaos of everyday life, also called Messies, most are happy and optimistic fellow with many positive character traits. Messies are not just lazy, they usually have only a totally different mindset than people who go order and cleanliness of everything. Messies often feel there is no well without chaos in their end, have self-esteem problems because they do not get their apartment on the series. They often want nothing more than to finally come without a guilty conscience after a long day at work home and receive you to visit unexpectedly. Or to find in the morning without a long search two matching socks or their mobile phones. In this sense it is quite understandable and justified, seek professional help Messies.
An important aspect that takes place in the individual psychotherapeutic work with Messies consideration is that policy has in different cultures and social areas have a different value. This meet can contradict his own personal sense of order. On the basis of this polar tension opens up the question of personal contact in the actual design of their own world.“
As a superficial analysis is the existence of the question, „What will I order? Viewed“ that allows the distinction between subject and background. The reason is found in the experience of duration and its expression. For example: „If it is neat, I feel the coziness that makes me be quiet.“
A situational motive for the establishment of order is for Messies for example, the criticism of the present law, that it is not clean enough in the apartment. To avoid a dispute, to make quick order before she comes to visit. The motive in this case are as afraid to stand up for your own need, when fear of criticism and controversy and to identify themselves to the recruiting feelings. „For example, a woman who stands as a single mother of two children in full employment, if he wishes to lead a civilized home life, a certain degree of order to feel important,“ explains Dr. Windisch. „This means more space for the children and for themselves, it remains necessary but situational priorities. If they consciously decide to set aside one evening to the budget because they want with their Tochtor practice the piano, what it means even more, they will not feel bad, because it makes the space for which they decided that, in the relationship to her daughter experienced. “
When psychotherapy is making Messies sense?
To the degree of order, one has set itself the goal to develop under the given conditions of life, psychotherapy can be useful-one – stands out expert Windisch. While anti-chaos-strategies, such as those described in Messies-advisers, are offered as general guidance can be developed in the psychotherapeutic one-to the concrete realization, together with the stakeholders of individual action in everyday life. A new self-adapts to the Messies!
